2023-09-03 A Meditation on The Child In Us
“12 Brothers, I entreat you, become as I am, for I also have become as you are. You did me no wrong. 13 You know it was because of a bodily ailment that I preached the gospel to you at first, 14 and though my condition was a trial to you, you did not scorn or despise me, but received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus. 15 What then has become of your blessedness? For I testify to you that, if possible, you would have gouged out your eyes and given them to me. 16 Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth? 17 They make much of you, but for no good purpose. They want to shut you out, that you may make much of them. 18 It is always good to be made much of for a good purpose, and not only when I am present with you, 19 my little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you! 20 I wish I could be present with you now and change my tone, for I am perplexed about you.” (Ga 4:12–20 ESV)
Deep in prayer, the child in us echoes out a gentler notion of what is needed, of wants and hurts, of that reassurance a bit easier than exact, precise counteraction to our high minded deeds: we are high minded, but not thereby deserving of praise. We are courageous, but not therefore self-sufficient. We are amiable, but not therefore joined on high and respected assurance. We need the basics, and need the gentler mothering, parenting generally, to heal of simply that need to be reassured.
“I know Joe, he’s an honest fellow”; “That Jeff is a forgiving chap”; these astute fruits of a life discovered and reinforced by some Divine intervention, Divine giftings and fruits, are ours through no duty of our own, but as heaven sent Gift. So the morality, imbued to us by parents and kin, teacher and community organizer. So the gentler fact of doing things without quite understanding or intentionally planning our own sanctification: each of us a mess of broken former prospects, but today built up and assured by that easier voice and wonderful presence.
To fight, then, is to have told us the qualities that make for a comforted man, woman, child, heir, servant, associate. It is to pray that instinctual patterns prove to be good omens and deeds. It is to appreciate the parenting, and know if it is needed in extra mode for us, how much more so for our peer. Thus we hold back nothing. Thus we are modest as to just what high and mighty principles do inform our faith.
The soldier is capable of superhuman, extra-bodily, supra-deed output. The deeds done that prove to tickle the right nerve in not just the practiced and training grounds but in the heat of battle; the step of faith, the leap of confidence, the internalized and habitual forgiving spirit, gentler spirit, recognisant and seeing spirit. Somehow it all speaks to our frustrations with life: dear Lord, do just reassure this one that they are smart, that they are capable, that they are watched, and that with a parent’s charmed and approving gaze. For the fruit is not the test scores nor the ambitious outlay, but some birthed Gifting originating in a broken place, a hurt soul, an incapacitated heart. God prunes. God uproots the ill. God weeds and ministers peace to the war-mocked, war-weary, heavy-laden, and beaten.