2024-11-08 A Meditation on Shadow Boxing

“18 What then is my reward? That in my preaching I may present the gospel free of charge, so as not to make full use of my right in the gospel. 19 For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. 20 To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. 21 To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law. 22 To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. 23 I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings. 24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. 25 Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. 26 So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. 27 But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” (1 Cor 9:18-27 ESV)

The enemy, the enemy is a reality: any forward stages in our own witness, and by shapeshifting and playing the innocent, an enemy mocks, causes us to self-doubt, pretends we are those who are belligerent, wrongly belligerent. But we make no concessions: our war is not with people who, say, look different from us outwardly, nor with people who believe on a different Deity: our War is simply the deep certainty of how much room there is for gospel building, for a people who have all aspect of ascent before them, or descent… but we make no concessions to the Enemy in this regard: “O Christian, fight less seriously… O Christian, why the tenacity… O Christian, you are a hodge-podge, a mess, a set of avenues antithetical…”.

A set of avenues, indeed: the bluster, the knockout punch to an enemy who all of a sudden ducks out of the ring altogether, leaving us punching the air… this is our own battle with lethargy. Call it Sin! Call it grumpy mornings or the end of our patience. Call it forgetfulness: we have a Mission ahead that requires no spooky Other, but a spookiness called our own gravity and downward trends. We are nearly spooked, except that This Day inklings of Faith resurface.

Recall! Recollect the deep need to honor our own magisterium, our elders, our fathers and mothers, our teachers, our leaders: working on this alone, is a Heaven-sent Mission. Working on this alone, we are none the wearier for the wear, but see a New Horizon, and for sure are we dogged about this Find.

Forget how easily we formerly were coaxed into dropping a priceless Gift. Forget that our Gospel treats all comers with a necessary at-ease, and this speaks right into an entire world of labors and sore bodies and those “good works” or “fitnesses” that somehow better elevate that Gospel, that At-Ease, that Prize Emanating knockout punch. He did it for us! He was friend to the sinner, no shame in just whom the spirit led to join us in church attendance.

Our message is that the loveless are welcome at Christ’s table. Our own party spirit: this has become our rewriting of our dreams around no magical drug (as if we still leaned on this sense of measuring each day’s hours), no barroom trip (as though we had some enthusiasms to get off our chest), no irresponsible jaunt (as though we preferred the enmities to forgiveness and getting along). Patient, dear souls, to reject animosity and literally love on our enemies; though it would be so convenient to get all hot and bothered.

Therefore our avenue unto Tomorrow involves accidentally veering off, Branches taken, I concede this much! Decisions made, Regretful Notices served: that we all along intended this to be our home base and our team, but—the center cannot hold—the Call unto today’s Poor and Loveless has stretched the limits of our polite relevance unto that other direction, the cagey angsty and rich church body. Say something pleasing to those who purr over plain Gospel truth? Well, this we have done, but it is difficult.

And therefore we return, resuming the patient one-two step left, step right, to assess like Paul our own sinfulness—being chief of sinners—so that the Gospel be not blamed for the digression made. It was a fine, belligerent train of thought that loved so fully on that All Present Judge. Hear the gossip, or is it a prelude to the Gospel? The gossip a prelude to Judgment, which all shall face. And we, caught up in tandem association, the sins of association, is in fact our gospel Breastplate. It is our Hope, that we dare to take “for real”, seriously, each and every exasperating Presence in our community. As if they were regaled for something we ourselves feel some variant pride in: We in this-or-that career? They too. We a penitent? They too a penitent. We under authority? They too knowing authority.

And then the utter discouragement: these are not wakeful interlocutors, but the chiefs among them sleepwalkers: they do not understand their own motives. They do not see clearly. They… let us shoulder the blame, however, and plead with words that hearken to the hearts of all Men: it wasn’t my finery but rather yours; it wasn’t my penitence but rather yours; it wasn’t my expertise but rather yours. All things are taken to the altar by that at-ease, gladsome, and cheery Infinity spirit of the Pauline evangelist; all things a loss except our certainty that Gospel building is the avenue to tomorrow, to belligerence most sublime, to hearkening to the Belief: that God is real, that Hope is ours, that longevity may even apply; there is no end to the service needed, and if not heard in the smug circle, then heard—we do believe—in a later dream or remembrance, sleepwalkers awakened because of some prodding or tension having been once elucidated. And we come to faith after our teacher has suffered for our denial. He paid the utmost, so that we might have a liberal and humane personal conversion story. No obligation, no servant duty, but a willing signing up for the Service, after that healthsome Gladsome exuberance and ecstasy. That has loosened the padlocks on our inner wealth. That has utterly differentiated before the homeless One who is Judge, that not all are equal in sin, but some receive nothing but praise, and others all manner of observation and criticism. For falling away. And this in itself, this dividing line, is a Gospel Tool relevant to all. That all might come to know God who loved the petulant, the selfish, the asinine, the greedy, the haughty. That their Repentance in and of itself be Heard and serve as dutiful Ministry unto all who draw near.

Is it all a license for mediocrity or ambition? Repeat: the path to Gospel revelation is first “Attack!”, in the prayer gathering, in the conversation over coffee, at the bar, at the family dinner table. Then, it is (their turn) “Dismissal!”: Christ was yawned over and listened to with only fifty-percent attentiveness, our ears seeking out something Else. Christ upset the peace and the apple cart. Christ Insisted on being heard and dared us, though none signed up, to take Him seriously.

And then… He was gone! And we suddenly hearkened to a pleasant vacuum or airy Removal where He once preached and spoke and prayed. So we pray for each other, that each may find their Following, and there put down some markers. So that, by that heavenly Vacuum and lightness of being, joints may once again move and limbs once again dance, because of Love. “There was something in Him…”. We do allow for Christ and His teaching, provided it remain duty-bound unto us His masters. And thank God that Jesus is still working, while we are blindingly walking in newfound Light.