2024-06-07 A Meditation on Rounded Out

“33 And when the sixth hour had come, there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour. 34 And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” 35 And some of the bystanders hearing it said, “Behold, he is calling Elijah.” 36 And someone ran and filled a sponge with sour wine, put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink, saying, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to take him down.” 37 And Jesus uttered a loud cry and breathed his last. 38 And the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. 39 And when the centurion, who stood facing him, saw that in this way he breathed his last, he said, “Truly this man was the Son of God!” 40 There were also women looking on from a distance, among whom were Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joses, and Salome. 41 When he was in Galilee, they followed him and ministered to him, and there were also many other women who came up with him to Jerusalem.” (Mk 15:33-41 ESV)

Mellower climes, the softer edges: the soldier’s contradiction is that Resurrection boldness and toughness begins with a Cross, it begins with a rather rudely learned trust fall or harrowing time. The schedule of trauma, of impossibility, of total bind; these things do soften edges and teach of a finality or truth that is found in all-in fighting and conversational spirit.

That is, the no-debts-remaining Encounter with Christ and with His Cross has the lucid reaction of resharpening the edges, of making us actually in fact Bold and Effective; we are not dulled; we are not wimped out; we are not down for any count, proverbial or otherwise.

Yet too, that space afforded us by loving parents or teachers, community leaders and counselors, is a space to maintain edgy Reactivity, staring down the man or woman yelling obscenities on the street corner, talking back to the “Gimme” bully, no longer fearing to tilt the landscape a bit, to upset the apple cart a bit, to undo the standard reaction of tolerance. We do not tolerate; we actually and in fact Change others by caring enough to React.

That space afforded us is the home front of a Grace learned and Differential between us and others, who still might resent all that the youth and adolescence, young adulthood and married boredom has done to them. People in fact love Jesus, yet resent what the church has meant for them. They resent the Grace found in an edge-enhancing, sin dullening Composure and Pasture: we graze in milder climes, we graze in healthier all-the-way potential and capacity. For, to profess love for the Lord is no longer to profess sinlessness; we thrive precisely because we can offload that sin or failure or offensive spirit onto Jesus, and sometimes we even need to prove this point, it can seem, so humbling or embarrassing are our post-conversion episodes.

Episodes of wild annunciation: for Him I work, He is my taskmaster, God is my appointed Boss. With Him, the right amount of simple “Do you not care that we perish?” (Mk 4:38) is met with the right amount of “We’re doing all we can to get this gig on the road” (Lk 1:3; Acts 15:22). It is sufficient to know someone Cared, Loved on Us, took the Time for us, is somewhere “Out there” for us. That is, life isn’t all measure and captains set up for tens, fifties and hundreds (Ex 18:25); that delegation unto a bureaucracy is a less Christ-like movement; our Christ-like movement is around One Man, and Him as good as absent or dead at times, yet One Man whose affection for us brought us to a gladsome hearty stretch of the imagination: yes, we can labor like this, free of any compensation except that spiritual heft called Belonging, called Helpful, called Forgiven. Yes, we can go the soldier’s route of life and limb on the line, because funnily enough we are healed for that end and purpose by His plain Care, Love for us, etc.