“4 I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, 6 and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. 7 For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you. Paul’s Plea for Onesimus 8 Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, 9 yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus— 10 I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. 11 (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) 12 I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. 13 I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, 14 but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. 15 For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, 16 no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. 17 So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. 18 If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. 19 I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. 20 Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ. 21 Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. 22 At the same time, prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping that through your prayers I will be graciously given to you.” (Phm 4–22 ESV)

Life experience, we know the role-model older brother, against whom our sins… they are tolerated and Forgiven. This Experience is rooted in the absolute childlike passions and longings, self-assertions and wild-eyed notions completely subconscious, unaware, unthought of, not disciplined. We Assert ourselves, not God, not the nominal elder in our midst, but ourselves. And if we are lucky, we see them duck and dodge, genuflect and gyre, and Forgive, see, and Forgive.

Because times are past for retelling of our own proud pedigree amongst the saints and older brothers, sisters in the land. The times are past for telling of our favorite pizza joint or pool hall, our hang-out zones and Places where we were furtively just getting by, but doing so In Communion, with a non-church Church. And this notion life was like a box of chocolates or was spoilt and indulgent… this simply, for so many who “know you”, who see and who Know, who form these unpriced (but exceedingly valuable to the right head) dialogs across the bridge, across the neighborhood divide, across eons or ages (see the elder sibling) or across towns and metropolises. We see, we know, we recognize, and that is no cake-walk or fairy tale but rather chip on the shoulder antagonism at times, hey, you, don’t be coming ‘round here, tales… yet… all are Friends on some level when finally we Go Big, Go Broad, Go National, Go International. We have learned a healthy self confidence insofar as this one, yes, I know this one, or I can fill in the blanks about that one… we know each other’s special ways and means, and winking and grimacing, smiling and demuring Expressions of self-presence.

Resilience, then, is a weary mind’s Answer to subjugation. Never after all were we meant to Go Large with this church crowd, were we? Something is off-karma if we are Peace and Unperturbed in our pews: see and reflect, you-all were never supposed to Rise Up from the weary-eyed bleary-eyed Street Life.

The tragedy of any war is that so-called nominal Brothers, Sisters, are at each other’s throats on behalf of the ruler or commander back home. Yet two minds are better than one, to the sister or brother behind enemy lines it is All we can do to Think and Analyze on their behalf because… have you ever been thick in the presence of foes, and found it hard to divorce yourself from the milieu and have an Original Thought? It is wearying to do Anything rebellious. Such as read your study bible. Such as see a film. Indeed, we omit to do things because the crash-landing afterwards will be too extreme. We need save these Experiences for a brighter and liberated Day.

The Soldier needs nothing more than that Winsome Glimmer, that Horizon Hope, that he or she knows is Bank, bankable upon, something to Pursue when hard metal and vested-up armor isn’t the course du jour. We go liminal, rather, focused and single-threaded in Thought. We are first of all Humans (created in God’s image) and second of all Soldiers (of the Crown, of the Cross), or maybe first soldiers… in any case, we Deliberate and Think on our feet, towards the End of filling in this corner or piece of the puzzle: God needs Actively-Minded men and women. And to mutter inchoate things, to pace, to Pray, this all is that Coiffe as Descended Upon us in our early days, that Coiffe that does pinch us just right and send us rocketing off to Higher Thoughts, Warmer Climes (did the temperature just change around here?), Resolve and Mission-minded. We some of us go right on to the church Recruitment Station: Use me! Hear me! I am way out ahead of the pack, perhaps, but figured someone so genius as to be stationed here, might just Understand! Might just go gladsome and unperturbed, buoyant and unbothered, not harboring any false sacramental coming together, but one True and Truly Sacramental, the beauty of having had our gig On all throughout the Day, and now that day is past, head on the pillow called Rest.

The question as to whether and who receives Orders, is a cause to go bedrock, redline about, because it is a nerve-wracking place to Dwell, when we’ve learned the hard way that God procures Prophecy and Aid from suffering servants. From our inept inability to walk through the pain or the confused boredom or manic inchoate gestures. Because we must learn go fasted to be In that Place called Aid, called Helpmeet, to this sibling or that one in the faith. To this Personage or that one, in the faith. We do this in view of our own Mortality, or do you see, you who would be a soldier, that whence a good Choice, Decision was made, that suddenly we remember where we are in life, our love for our parents, our love for these people or those, for the church, and are prompted to give thanks. Because of some Decision we made that was life-affirming. Therefore we go Warzone in order to be eyes and ears to those tied up in insanities and madnesses behind the enemy’s line. We pray, because Imagination is overflowing when the Truth is more banal, just day-by-day banal and boring and plain and expected. Only in fact, this is just the surface: the Truth is ours this day to Own and to fight for.