“12 For our boast is this, the testimony of our conscience, that we behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity, not by earthly wisdom but by the grace of God, and supremely so toward you. 13 For we are not writing to you anything other than what you read and understand and I hope you will fully understand— 14 just as you did partially understand us—that on the day of our Lord Jesus you will boast of us as we will boast of you. 15 Because I was sure of this, I wanted to come to you first, so that you might have a second experience of grace. 16 I wanted to visit you on my way to Macedonia, and to come back to you from Macedonia and have you send me on my way to Judea. 17 Was I vacillating when I wanted to do this? Do I make my plans according to the flesh, ready to say “Yes, yes” and “No, no” at the same time? 18 As surely as God is faithful, our word to you has not been Yes and No. 19 For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, whom we proclaimed among you, Silvanus and Timothy and I, was not Yes and No, but in him it is always Yes. 20 For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory. 21 And it is God who establishes us with you in Christ, and has anointed us, 22 and who has also put his seal on us and given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee. 23 But I call God to witness against me—it was to spare you that I refrained from coming again to Corinth. 24 Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, for you stand firm in your faith.” (2 Cor 1:12-24 ESV)

To emerge from our schooling with a project mindset, this beckons the question of how Christ-oriented we are. Is our project in fact about His honor? When push comes to shove, are we laboring under His Cross? Do we, all things told, actually “like” any of it?

The friends made along the way… they witnessed a “sent-ness”, a Missional assignment, some half-crazed Notion that we ourselves were uniquely poised to address some huge issue of the day. These friends, speaking in tongues, in foreign languages, “understood” the Value of what we did, in ways not common, in ways abused by others and forgotten.

The Project, then is no plaintive appeal to a Christ we ourselves struggle to believe in, rather an urgent appeal to what Christ has made His roost with us, because we Love and Know Him. Yet not all will be satisfied. Some, having itching ears, will covet to see us brought low. Some, themselves feeling inadequate, will desire to see others flounder. Some, hardly taking the day’s hours seriously, will hate other’s determination.

To Someone on High, our plight makes righteous sense. He understands our Project Mindset. He understands our troubled days. He knows starkness and alacrity around Defending and Sticking Up For our cause. Yet as we wallow in inadequacy, He is pained and troubled that we don’t Trust More. Trust our own words (have you ever written or spoken something, and found it launched even yourself into a new framework?).

The charges, then, of having undertaken the Project without a sending church body, this infects many who innately Know—minus sending body—what the hour calls for. The Christian religion—you don’t need more than a missional or pugnacious Primer—is Owned by so many souls on the outs or the cusp of any and all “Church”. Who internally Know what a gospel message is. Who are quick studies to Learn, what the rubrics are. Who make speedy hay while the day shines, around Theology verified “in the wild”.

This thought, that all is Existential faith: two people suddenly Aware or Finding Themselves in a stark room called “life”, and trying to converse or reflect on the existential situation. A Christian Convert, only reflecting on the existential experience of Forgiveness… in this Hour, in this Moment, minus any and all purgatorial logic around. No, existentialism helps us to say that once saved, always saved: the newly minted Believer it turns out, somehow always had a Holy Spirit Preventing, using sins and turning them now to some good… some good Project.

Because of the sheer lunacy of a church encountering Redeemed Lives in the wild. Church’s madness around any and all talk of what it is allegedly all about: Christ and His Kingdom, His Mercy, His satiety and Purpose. Christ assails the makeshift prideful theologies, with His theology, entirely Christian and… existential.

And no, we are not an ATM of stories. We had some, but only some, by way of friends along the way and religious experiences. We can be bled dry, if we were to boast. If we were to answer their crying appeal for More, More education in what we learned “as unbelievers”, as if we “owe” it to them to share our knowledge. “Give me your dissertation topic!” they seem to shout. No, a Christian should be radical but also likeable. And do we find, yes we do, that we “like” people who have a bit of a checkered past. If they are modest. If self-realization has made them more subdued and patient, loving towards those who never strayed. No, it is all like a game of rugby or football: there is no guaranteed safety zone, but rather two sides pushing for every yard against an opponent. So they say, “Come clean”, and we respond that we long since have Come Clean. But in no way are we all “rich” and “luscious” around our checkered history. We had some friends, occasional nights out with the pals, with the fellas, with the gals, random loving affairs. But only so much, this and not more. Our interrogators, too, are just as compromised, if not more: what is your boast? What is your Measure?

The Project mindset is our new juice, our new obsession, our obsession married to Sabbath-rest once every seven days. We had thought ourselves uniquely Poised, now Sent, originally Minted for the task. Others somehow were jealous: this was seen as some personal accolade when all it was was an assignment: to preach, to go forth into the politicized church at large, to cash in on a few good words that preceded us. But no, it took us too long. We overstayed our welcome. The buzz deflated. However, this was only to teach us, never to concede to another’s vision of us, but to be Unique and self-made, made by Christ’s loving Hand and His investment in our battle ship of License… to self-determine, to preach of a Sincere Christ no simulacra or forced notion. We know Him… we know a Friend. We know a Unique fact, perhaps our first assignment, is to teach the Law a bit, in order that Grace may be better appreciated. Many did not crucify Christ, and many likewise are nominally “friends” with folks like our own and our rabbit warren of souls. We are no longer cute and cuddly. Today… today we are in bleary-eyed fashion coming into the light. And in that football game, anyone can be made Ultimate in sin, anyone can give an inch but concede a mile. No, from the outset, any and all attempts to Disciple and to Teach the Law, are met with firm insistence Already Christ has Died, and for us. Already we are Forgiven, though we love to dialog and share some fruits of repentance: did we need to “apologize” to past romantic partners? Did we need to “Atone” for sins with parents? Did we need to “serve time” for any actual crimes? The church is expressly not in the business of Purgatory, and this is why we never give that first inch, rather Push for recognition as Saved and Forgiven souls. Because that is what we all share a need for. As enticing as it is to be meek and forlorn about our past.