A Meditation on No Longer Doubting

2024-02-16 A Meditation on No Longer Doubting

“21 And Jesus answered them, “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen. 22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”” (Matt 21:21-22 ESV)

Found out and not found in doubt, following psalmist and preacher, we live into terrors simple and boldness profound: we are cataloging what for us is as for the psalmist the valley of shadow and doubt; we are cataloging all the distractions from eyes-in-the-game: war more of a notion than what we quite can contain, ebb and flow, eddies and circumstances mocking to our own pride and readiness.

We are ready yet doing dutiful battle with a spirit who mocks, who prods with existential terrors and the fears, “is this all there is?” “I can’t go on.” “To whom can I just let loose a bit and converse with?” All these things mock us, at least try to, while like psalmist and the preacher’s goading or prodding we emerge Triumphant over trial and fears, reputed to be not needy but rather strong, finding a strange eyes-on-the-prize and a post not abandoned. We watched. We prayed. We circumscribed and surrounded, made little of all inimical spirits. We did all this in the profound existential battle-readiness and deuce of a duel. We did all this prayerfully, cognisant of Real Things, Real Concerns: not down on ourselves but rather Ready and Prayer-Warrior.

Talking through the trauma, we are those not quite genteel yet familiar with Love, with belovedness and special-ness; yet strange oppositions arise, with those more elite or genteel, with the downcast reality of different strokes and different existential realities, people simply different from one another and finding a no-go zone of would-be camaraderie. It calls on each soul to be intentional in ministry, to love what by nature either we shrink away from or we fear or we stand disgusted about. Our self-righteousness becomes our outward love, to make porridge where there is meal, oats and milk no theoretical notion but practical reality and wisdom. Making do with what is before us. Pleading with our would-be conversation partners to see things from our perspective, to see with a gladsome pride the strength we at times do show, while also the terrors we at times do battle with. We all need an Advocate, and have an Advocate in the Spirit who doesn’t rest, who murmurs through all existential angst and wandering, that Yes life is still a cause for busy-ness and being about the Master’s business. We have game. We have cause. We have time and circumstance. All this simply enables basic duties to be discharged, basic help to ride the waves of our own fledgling sense of confidence met with dastardly ill spirits. Our illness is no more, for we found a bedrock and undertow so manageable and useful. We found that the coming of War is indeed more than we can wrap our minds around, yet we do well to be Alert and Studied, to work and to serve with a confidence God will through His Spirit coach and guide and prepare us, so we shall be found with a Confidence Unworldly in that hour.