“13 He went out again beside the sea, and all the crowd was coming to him, and he was teaching them. 14 And as he passed by, he saw Levi the son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, “Follow me.” And he rose and followed him. 15 And as he reclined at table in his house, many tax collectors and sinners were reclining with Jesus and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. 16 And the scribes of the Pharisees, when they saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, said to his disciples, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” 17 And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”” (Mark 2:13-17 ESV)
On that day, grace alone will save the bold, the adventuresome, those who trusted in themselves even when found seated with the Faithful. We are found seated with the Faithful but with a zeal in our eyes, a glee in our step, a strange sense: these are like bleating sheep in need of a shepherd and we… we feel flattered, built up, capable, on some level the Right Man or Woman for the Job.
But this adventure, it is rooted in a plain Sentiment that every Christian eventually goes through, the desire simply to be a better person. And these ones, the sheep, many are already looking with bliss, with gleeful expression, on the newcomer, because of the fruits of non-binding arbitration half our lives long: we were not Bound Up by the law… we were of winning stripe and adventurous dealings. We adventured, and largely, if you look at life the right way, largely we knew what our sins were, sins against a brother or against a sister, sins of frustration or forgetting God has a Plan. Sins of despitefully lancing forth Proud and Unrepentant.
More, Today and every day, the sin of disbelief knocks at the door: we are a virtual duality of mentalities, one being that Mystery called Faith, the other that dastardly Emptiness called Doubt. When we feel Empty, it is because of sailing perhaps too close to the flame, the candle’s wick being something to Appreciate from a certain remove, a certain distance kept, because it is most Beautiful in this way.
But also, the Soldier of Christ has a Go-To never forgotten, called the River of Grace, that Day when Grace alone will save the bold and adventurous. On that day, it will actually endear to us the notion of plain Acceptance and Submission, accepting He has good plans, submitting that We are not solo the answer.
Yet see again, the bleating sheepfold, and Pray: these lovers of Goodness, they have all made their peace with atheism, by signing their Name to the Contract called Good Works. Called blessing the sojourner, the wandering soul, the new believer. Called serving the poor, helping the destitute, reasoning together with the sinful. Come, let us reason together… and let us still be unashamed by our own instincts to Be Bold. If we were for a season Not Sheep, that was only that we might better Appreciate what the Master Shepherd is doing for each and every citizen of Heaven. And these others, they… what they are is between them and God… these others who were always close to the flame, always submitted, always Learning and Addressing any and all frustrated rebellions.
Were we frustrated? Were we Rebellious? Simply to crawl away and hide in the woodwork, that is the overall Sentiment of so many would-be Sheep: they have learned from their mother’s breast that the church hounds the Bold, chastens the Prophetic, group-thinks the Innocent into some mock submission… submission to Satan. And these, who are hiding away whilst others take the blame… these are hereby Coaxed and Called Upon to take a stand… because of that innate desire to be a Good Person. Because of the career or day’s work or calling during which we can think with sober reflection on the years passing by, loved ones aging, we ourselves aging, and more. Yet in all this we are More than Conquerors through Him who loved us. We were indeed rapscallion and sinner once upon a sojourn, a midnight sojourn, a lonesome one. Now we are hated for our Victory by some, but truth, scout’s honor, we are Peace and Sanguine to each and every would-be Enemy.
Perhaps. Perhaps we are now more holy than before. Only this, that they will hate us for our Submission, hate us for our Repentance, hate us for our sanguine Posture. Life, the fact of discipleship… we have disciples who spit in our direction and say, get better. Get even better, O soldier. Rest when the day’s work is complete, and only then. And be joyful in your labors, but we ain’t need you any more than we need a Boss. We got bosses aplenty. And this, this is Love. This is making it through the years, still unfazed and Accepted… by a community broad and not only sinister but also agreeable, when we act in our own Innocence and for the betterment of all.