2022-01-18 A Meditation on Giving Credit

““Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.” (2 Co 10:17–18 ESV)

The faith walk is the constant distribution of experience: we give to God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit some tenacious livelihood of thought and mind, and we credit to ourselves an at times delusional denial: there was never a time when we weren’t in some needy error. Our lives, framed by our deeds or states of mind, are decrepit and unworthy. But then we ask, what of my healthy self-confidence? What of my gladness greeting the day? What of my time swimming in joy and thoughts in prayer mode? All thoughts and experiences working together for good?

So we fashion ourselves self-accomplished, when in fact decisions past were made with one hand grasping the emergency exit; we delved in cautiously and dubiously. We held on to a self-righteous explanatory device, or a proud disclaimer. Indeed, it is easy to see that in all times we have a bloat or a sad or revolting intrusion of “ourselves” into otherwise peace and copacetic niceties. For, then the joy… then the happy thoughts… then the conclusive gladness of countenance.

Formative. We reel this way and that, careening and automatic, the hidden single experience that so today motivates us, is shrouded in secrecy or inability plainly to speak of it. For some this has been trauma or shocking disregard or injury at the hands of trusted ones. Discovering a selfish parent or covetous sibling. Finding an infidelity. Facing abandonment at a pre-arranged meeting with friends. We walk home wistfully. All our lives are now re-appraised and reviewed in this traumatic new light. We cast our burdens onto something that has rewired us.

Likewise formative, to encounter Jesus. Simple are we, that we feel we knew Him all along, and simple in that we lean heavily on Him to maintain poise and composure whilst we careen about, trying to reappraise all life in this new, commissioned, tasked, endeavor. “Be my people”; “Rise, young man/woman”; “Do as I do”.

Each stage of life has with it this concomitant Encounter, with something meaningful and assertive, with something all-encompassing to meager us, with something emboldening us with appropriate courage and poise, or bruising us with haunting hurts. Each stage of life also has occasion to float blissfully into the Good Spirit provided, in our prayers, in our healthy self-appraisal, while maintaining great humility as to how others might see us, selfish, proud, sinful.