“5 On one occasion, while the crowd was pressing in on him to hear the word of God, he was standing by the lake of Gennesaret, 2 and he saw two boats by the lake, but the fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets. 3 Getting into one of the boats, which was Simon’s, he asked him to put out a little from the land. And he sat down and taught the people from the boat. 4 And when he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” 5 And Simon answered, “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.” 6 And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking. 7 They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink. 8 But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.” 9 For he and all who were with him were astonished at the catch of fish that they had taken, 10 and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. And Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.” 11 And when they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed him. Jesus Cleanses a Leper 12 While he was in one of the cities, there came a man full of leprosy. And when he saw Jesus, he fell on his face and begged him, “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.” 13 And Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I will; be clean.” And immediately the leprosy left him. 14 And he charged him to tell no one, but “go and show yourself to the priest, and make an offering for your cleansing, as Moses commanded, for a proof to them.” 15 But now even more the report about him went abroad, and great crowds gathered to hear him and to be healed of their infirmities. 16 But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray. Jesus Heals a Paralytic 17 On one of those days, as he was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law were sitting there, who had come from every village of Galilee and Judea and from Jerusalem. And the power of the Lord was with him to heal. 18 And behold, some men were bringing on a bed a man who was paralyzed, and they were seeking to bring him in and lay him before Jesus, 19 but finding no way to bring him in, because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and let him down with his bed through the tiles into the midst before Jesus. 20 And when he saw their faith, he said, “Man, your sins are forgiven you.” 21 And the scribes and the Pharisees began to question, saying, “Who is this who speaks blasphemies? Who can forgive sins but God alone?” 22 When Jesus perceived their thoughts, he answered them, “Why do you question in your hearts? 23 Which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven you,’ or to say, ‘Rise and walk’? 24 But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he said to the man who was paralyzed—“I say to you, rise, pick up your bed and go home.” 25 And immediately he rose up before them and picked up what he had been lying on and went home, glorifying God. 26 And amazement seized them all, and they glorified God and were filled with awe, saying, “We have seen extraordinary things today.” Jesus Calls Levi 27 After this he went out and saw a tax collector named Levi, sitting at the tax booth. And he said to him, “Follow me.” 28 And leaving everything, he rose and followed him. 29 And Levi made him a great feast in his house, and there was a large company of tax collectors and others reclining at table with them. 30 And the Pharisees and their scribes grumbled at his disciples, saying, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?” 31 And Jesus answered them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. 32 I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.” A Question About Fasting 33 And they said to him, “The disciples of John fast often and offer prayers, and so do the disciples of the Pharisees, but yours eat and drink.” 34 And Jesus said to them, “Can you make wedding guests fast while the bridegroom is with them? 35 The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast in those days.” 36 He also told them a parable: “No one tears a piece from a new garment and puts it on an old garment. If he does, he will tear the new, and the piece from the new will not match the old. 37 And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the new wine will burst the skins and it will be spilled, and the skins will be destroyed. 38 But new wine must be put into fresh wineskins. 39 And no one after drinking old wine desires new, for he says, ‘The old is good.’ ”” (Lk 5:1–39 ESV)

How reliable is the mental bridge? The ship’s bridge, the helm, the Patient Assessor, the Lanky and Cool Decisiveness, the Measured Response and Benefit of the Doubt Reaction? Because all life, the walls around us, can seem to be closing in, impossible binds, impossible people, yet open-ended questions: why am I thus treated? These also annoyingly meet the alternate Assessment. So-and-so is like God Himself to me. So-and-so is some kind of Genius. So-and-so: they are Love.

A parent, a sibling, a neighbor, a drill sergeant: life’s bouquets, fructified Passe Mentalism, earned Peace and Sabbath Calm, these things leave wide the Horizon and broad the Stage, for our Coming Together Party, only accelerated not because of suspicions, no lack of Trust, no end of Good Will and Good Faith, but accelerated because of War. Suspicion of War. Panicked no longer, the traumatized youth racing around town to pick up a few luggage items and bags, the plaintive Plea for something sensible and Copacetic to be our doctor and our Holy Spirit. The ways we elide, glide, quietly remove and quietly reposition, in a dull roar or hum of Electronics as Integrated and taking us in full fashion on a Ride.

Because to lay down in a moment when, all things told, you should be gameday Acting, Laboring, getting the Homework Done, but to rest and meditate on the absolute Trauma or scarredness of how so-and-so treats you… this ends up being a meditation on how we Clean Up, how we Present Ourselves, a fine day to flatter and in beggarly fashion back out of Christ’s throneroom bowing and genuflecting as we go. Because we too, we are Stereotypes of “that kind of fellow, of gal”. We are Something to All, and we wish our personal Something to be all-knowing, all-egalitarian, all-rational, sensible, Pure Deductive Truth. And if this leads to so-called immodest truth claims, well so too, please see us Humbled and Contrite.

Theological takeaways, this is the invite to lance the corpuscle precisely in ways Utterly Contrary to plain reason and established precedence. It is to linger a moment longer on an “I don’t know”, linger a moment longer on a Point. To the soldier in the trenches, this Point is marvelously capable of biding the pained time, biding the tortuous time, Answering in Bold Face the question as to why on God’s green earth we should be so Forward, so Exposed, so Vulnerable. We are as if suddenly having a public panic attack, because the walls… we weren’t after all quite Prayed Up: prayer asks for Time to move through the anxious walls-closing-in, and only venture forth after some Time invested; yet we are not Able to Afford such time; we are under attack spiritually from all sides, on all fronts. We have a sword-in-the-stone or an impossible Assimilation, contrast, sidling up together, that Attacks and compromises our prayer. Yet venture forth we must, so the answer is in Immediate illogical answer to prayer, not on the basis of Works and Law, but on the basis of Here I Am, Here I Shall Be, see me calm and insanely peaceful even if swords may be drawn soon on all sides.