2025-03-23 A Meditation on An Unromantic Urge

“4 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. 7 But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift. 8 Therefore it says, “When he ascended on high he led a host of captives, and he gave gifts to men.” 9 (In saying, “He ascended,” what does it mean but that he had also descended into the lower regions, the earth? 10 He who descended is the one who also ascended far above all the heavens, that he might fill all things.) 11 And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, 12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, 14 so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. 15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” (Eph 4:1-16 ESV)

Support comes from spouse and from friend; if unromantic to agree to the latter, so be it: we have to start somewhere. Support means the very subtle ways we take for granted an ambiance and an elevated state in life: “at least I have so-and-so”. We may say this, but the demands we place on each other are enormous. The soldier’s mindset is utterly fixated and staring-down an inimical Power. The soldier’s mistakes have indeed cost friends and loved ones. But the no-time-to-mourn mentality of a David (2 Sam 12:21) means we allow: Rumors have preceded the soldier; Hate has handicapped his or her walk; dutiful solo projects have isolated his or her stride.

The fixation of a Christ is that He (or She, as fate often has it; let’s go with He, for convenience) operates on some post-romantic, post-utilitarian, “magical” type of affections lent His way. We are affected, and we show affection, not begrudging Him his eleven others. Not seeing things only through the “my way or the highway” mentality of a pairing-off societal push. We no longer need pair off except in great Joy: that a marriage has occurred, that a time most useful to the colleagues has transpired, that a time together is bearing much fruit.

As “good Christians”, “good Jews”, and “good Muslims”, etc. (to name only the Abrahamic) there is abundant room for the sensitive soul, who lands in a minefield of Law but soldiers through it with their principles intact. Who soldiers through it in sane personal-sphere-of-cleanliness, seeing the debauchery and infidelity on all sides. We soldier through it, because after all our ancestors fought similar fights. Our parents fought along the same lines.

Yet this trauma… it shall be my undoing, we say, jolting awake in the night. This jilting of the long-term principled mutual support Endeavor… it shall mock me! But more importantly, it shows someone else traumatized and struggling, because we weren’t there for them. So to that “unromantic” first assault on Sin and the Devil: friend me! We are two peas in a pod, we might say. And as an enemy tries to turn that sentiment morbid, we do well to go beyond the “can I just ask a question? Surely there’s some common ground” phase, to the “see me gesture, quite publicly, in attempt of overcoming the disrepair and disillusionment”.

That is, the world has enough hate in it without our adding to it. The innocent one, the caring one, the patient and uptight-at-times one: these are our friends, like it or not. These are our cross-border co-religionists, like it or not. These are we, on a momentary perch of guiding and rubbing shoulders, somehow fixated on More. On a greater Peace. On a public display of non-combatancy.