2023-09-30 A Meditation on a Better Half

“30 What shall we say, then? That Gentiles who did not pursue righteousness have attained it, that is, a righteousness that is by faith; 31 but that Israel who pursued a law that would lead to righteousness did not succeed in reaching that law. 32 Why? Because they did not pursue it by faith, but as if it were based on works. They have stumbled over the stumbling stone, 33 as it is written, “Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offense; and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame.” 10 Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved. 2 For I bear them witness that they have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge. 3 For, being ignorant of the righteousness of God, and seeking to establish their own, they did not submit to God’s righteousness. 4 For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes.” (Ro 9:30–10:4 ESV)

Carried on the hip, courted, safeguarded: there is room in the soldier’s thought sphere to handle and manage partnering. There is an “On” that is unhindered. Assessed, shriven, built to code, the resurrected variant of ourselves thrives and reaches for the stars. The gauged and ordered affections turn this day, curiously, to a “safe space” guarded and ensured, protected and mutually submitted: we submit rightly to loving this our better half, the wider body, the “Other” in our life. We are gladsome and have tucked away, like a tattered photograph or an amulet with memento, the likeness of that Something and at times Some Person who gives our “On”, our “Best self”, our “Fighting Spirit” unimpeded access to the stars.

To the stars, it is no theology of lunging and endeavoring to boast in what we have accomplished. Rather it emerges paradoxically from shriving (confessing), that is, from the preacher’s good assessment and resolve, his or her depiction of what faults exist, that we may emerge washed and baptized. That is called “Grace”, the enemy of “Law”, though backchannels to this public dispute do exist: the Law preacher only needing to submit her or his ordering to a Better Gospel called Grace. All that is done to remind and correct vis-a-vis the “Law” is done without attributing any promises to what the Law can bring about. Today, I am tempted to boast in my good deeds. To wit, upon realizing my sins, I am tempted to list good counterweights vis-a-vis deeds. But Grace says this: that if we accurately understood the problem, we would accept unconditionally that Embrace so precious and so guarded by legions of angels. That is our home, our family hearth, our fighting spirit, our Cause. That is our daydream and promise of a bright tomorrow: when we shall be conquering queens and kings, returning to share the spoils of a spiritual battle nonetheless dignified and worthy in the public eye; only not: not appreciated quite yet, though soon and in a day on the horizon.

Then to the humility, for it is strange—again—to be “Grace” via (this is the key point) gorging on Law. We eat. We accept the lumps. We lose no eyesight towards that Pinnacle, the “On” of the soul minus hindrance and guilt. We dare, not trained to false expectations of punishment should we turn out to be brave; we are “On” to the chagrin of the enemy, but safe because the Law has been appeased and flattered; we are boasting in deeds, just not in our own but rather in those of Christ Jesus. We have pleased and placated the accountants. We have left in place Moses and the Prophets. We turn every celebratory lunge into a strange reversal that blesses exactly what we are no longer boosting: we are credit and testament to the Rules and the Proper Engagement. Some law is onerous, but some we rightly wish to give accolade unto, to allow in the fracking or rather in the investment, some calm dispersal and agitation: the law is agitated, high-flung to see where and with what we land; we can celebrate, and we can appreciate. We are soldiers of a fighting spirit married unto Good Activity vis-a-vis holding the paradox front and center.