2023-12-07 A Meditation on Contradictory Thoughts

“3 Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, 2 to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. 3 For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. 4 But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, 6 whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. 8 The saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people. 9 But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. 10 As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, 11 knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.” (Tt 3:1–11 ESV)

Practiced in the art of duality, the actively engaged mind holds rival notions at bay, in copacetic peace with each other, a sense of prime objective and secondary concerns dually held: namely, the desire to enter the thoughtspace, the culture, the quality of life, of our enemy, while also being strong and firm in our own priestly calling: the soldier as a priest, namely, as one concerned with convicting of sin and being convicted, and lancing the corpuscle, giving fright to, fighting bravely, against gravity and the trends socially irreligiously underway.

For the soldier knows a thing or two, that she or he has a certain perch afforded by our Holy Spirit, wherein the game plan is on display and free for all observers thus led. All who feel thus led do meditate: see how many New Testament passages include the “no quarreling” objective; our objective, against all pride and duty unto our place in the hierarchy, on the totem pole, as the called and set apart, as those Ordained. To know madness averted. To reflect on an Impossible Bind or sad hurt or relationship that just can’t be gotten to go well; here we learn duality, an irrational but loving coexistence, the hate for sin met with the love for the Other, for their Unknown, for their Simple Humanistic Needs. We love, not as excuse to abuse, but in respectful distance, from a perch called Set Apart, called Ordained, called Saved.

To have just one indication that our labors are not in vain, may be too much to ask; it may be asking too much of that same Spirit who leaves us to wait, prayers as-of-yet unanswered, learning the sufferings of the Christ and His Children. It may be too much to ask for one bind broken, one deer-in-headlights or frozen impasse, that we have shot ourselves in the foot seeking some way, any way, to escape the trend Holy and Right unto conviction, better, unto heart change, unto acceptance, unto belonging, unto those wonderful moments together that we remember, on a trip, at a bar or restaurant, in the homestead, around a campfire heating ourselves. Those are heaven. Those allow just a moment’s pause and a few words shared. Those because of our chastity and fast, we imagine always as being a treat: we have fasted ourselves into “in love” status; we have tried all things to honor what is special. We have used our very bodies and minds to pay reverence unto, a greater Spirit, a larger Christ, a loving Father. In all this we are at an in-between juncture, the call for simple flattery heard, but so too the call for talking through our own frozen points of pain, our own impossible binds, our sought-out indicators and permissions, our principled refusals and the safety of those better situated thanks to God’s Plan; some are lightyears ahead on one count or another, whilst still He holds out His hand all day to a rebellious crowd.

Yes, the next step requires an end to widespread large scale fantasy and ambition. We know the posture of Worship. We know the posture of Submission. We know the posture of ending the quarreling as a prime test of our intellect and soul. We know the exasperated efforts to make logical peace between two perspectives, and instead go with the torturously learned duality: yes, we love our enemies, and yes, we fight the good fight as those In Command, and In Situ, performing the works lacking in the lives of others, covering for their sins, making of us the accepted role of fall guy or fall gal; all this because we have an enthusiasm that apes the dour frigidity. We have so much to give, prime being the reaction unto the inspiration and spirit of another soul, another body and mind, another culture, another half, another world to learn and set sail into, flying high, flags unfurled and peace run amok. What a day that shall be!