2023-08-10 A Meditation on Living for the Adrenaline

“10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.” (Eph 6:10–20 ESV)

What is most resilient in our walk, our faith walk, our brandishing of the spiritual sword and shield, may be how direct, how certain, how reliable is our confidence in Jesus. Somehow give-and-take theology—the notions that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction—must learn a theology that is not zero sum: it must learn a theology where the spiritual heights attained to, do not obligate us or indebt us to navigate or spelunk the nether regions. We can rest content because our contentedness is dire urgency; there is no place to fuss. We translate any and all softness of our core to a core no longer depressive or panicky or exasperated or hindered.

Then the nighttime passing of two soldiers in the night. It can be frightening, or cause us to plead that simple and gentle words do dispel the potential for aggression or escalation. All this is real, as is the other side’s army themselves seeking, praying perhaps just not, it would seem, to our same endpoint. They may pray but not spelunk, dive deep, repent and find centeredness in precisely those self-annihilating curtailed walk through the day. “Just make it all go away”: no, that is our sensitivity to an enemy’s frustrated will for us. “I really don’t like any of it”: no, that is the meager faith walk forgetting that trials will come. We are tried when we have little to carry, little to shelter or to warm. Yet in such hours of simplicity, Jesus emerges with brightness on His countenance.

What is most resilient is our hobby, yet our dire hobby, urgent and needful, of accepting—just accepting—gentler pastures. We accept that the urgent Call, the fire station’s alarm ringing, the sirens, and the fetching trumpet call, is more than our Game On, it is what we live for. We live so that in a quiet and agreeable car ride with a peer, we can not get so down as to forget: this is the urgent hour; this is the all-hands moment; this is the avalanche of counterpointe unto our pointe: God is for us; today, let us brandish the faith sword; this day, let us never discount or pass over the self zany and wild in strange thinking at times; that in no way disqualifies us. The sanest of the cavalcade are utterly weird and striking in their capacity for odd outlays both Good and Evil. It is not a give-and-take between good and evil, but rather we no time to delay race to the Call to be alert, to play quiet cards when the avalanche is too much, but blame first of all ourselves for any and all lagging spirit, lagging resolve, lagging heights of Faith.