2023-06-18 A Meditation on Alertness

“Yes, and I will rejoice, 19 for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, 20 as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 22 If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. 23 I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. 24 But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, 26 so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again.” (Php 1:18–26 ESV)

Bright dawns the day, the sluggishness evacuating eyes now alert and at the ready. Nothing more is wished upon than for who and what we are Now. Now we are sated and ready, now receivers of the Fatherly goodness, not in some better former praxis or place, or some tomorrow eventuality, but here: whatever is lacking, God makes up for in forgiveness. Genuine resolution of whatever we fear distracts us or is imperfect. And to be at the ready, is to be His eyes and ears on the ground. We are indispensable, if only we would believe.

For His wish for us is not more meekness, but more certainty. Confidence that we are called upon to a strange paradoxical dance: to be those who have received mercy, and yet to be those who know it is a bargain only between us and the Almighty, nothing more we need to apologize to come-who-may. Come-who-may asserting themselves as gatekeepers. Come-who-may offering a cheaper exchange. No, His exchange is costly and in our ear directly. Nothing we need any longer to get right, except that we willingly do fashion a bit of an apology if it is appropriate and wouldn’t cause further harm. Apologies all around, why not. If it will help a partner we were raised with, to know and trust the Spirit has renewed our former hard heart.

That is, magnanimous and evolved, we trust our better conscience and soul unto an Almighty who has power not only to forgive, but to give the orders that somehow help us to believe we are forgiven. We venture forth on Mission because today we are a unified Body. Each part indispensable. Each part begging to be full grown, confident and composed, calm under fire and resolute that all we have going for us, all our boasts and our value to the Army of God, is no reason to fear dying. We do not mourn our own forward position or our own sacrifice, but rather we know the day of unique things, small things, grand things, what a good Lord and Agent of Grace might indeed see as worthy of our very lives. Somehow, the history of the matter will show us to have paid a costly, in His arms, advancement. Seemingly to die for nothing, yet a nothing that speaks to anyone who has suffered needlessly. For we are going to a better place. We are not hastening that day, but are nonetheless working as though for a personal exit and absence from this life, one day. On a day that shall be remembered as our gateway unto eternity.