2023-02-11 A Meditation on Seeing Ourselves in True Light

“So Moses made a bronze serpent and set it on a pole. And if a serpent bit anyone, he would look at the bronze serpent and live.” (Nu 21:9 ESV)

The whole scheme of who we are meets the paradox of feeling distaste while being healed. The rare portrayal of Man in his estate, with any number of things wrong with him, is stronger the more honest or provocative it is. We literally scoff or laugh away a picture, then later lean on it as something salutary and healthy.

Jesus let the music play. Jesus partied at the wedding. Jesus acted like one possessed, of some brand of spirit or at least of something. Jesus showed man’s doubt and betrayal by dying alone on a Cross. This is no longer cliche (no matter our reverence) if today we see the same thing occurring. Oh yeah, I needn’t fuss over how sanctimonious I am. Oh year, I can just be me, because the extreme indulgence of sin (lust, greed, avarice) is comfortably spoken of. It is laughed away. It is owned by someone other than ourselves, and we can laugh.

The pastor has to really believe that it behooves her or him simply to illustrate the uncomfortable, and allow the Holy Spirit to do the rest. To depict crazy sin is to give salve to the wounded soul. The soul fussing about how holy it is, is the soul forlorn, ruined, sad, unkempt and not kept tidy. We are untidy because we wanted a second gospel: in addition to the first gospel, that our sins are forgiven, we wanted a second gospel of good works.

We wanted to believe that by-and-large we can cope and put forth a healthsome picture of ourselves. So the manic rabbit hole turns out to be closer to the truth than we thought: we go down the rabbit hole in full hope of being met halfway there, the trust fall rewarded, the “insane” confession of brokenness being utterly sane and preemptive strike against sin.

So to fight is to stop having all the answers. It is to embrace our self-portrait on that Cross: here, and not in the self-righteous church halls, is your sum and substance. Here, and not in a “cleaned up” self-portrait, is a gospel one can abide with, can allow to speak earnest and sincere words to a fallen heart. Can forego even that small point of boasting, that sincere request we be seen as only partly sinful. Instead, we are full-on grappling with temptations and with deeper passions played out. We are brought to mind of ways and arenas of a former self, where the name of the game was indeed licentious and proud.

And we do have sane and complementary pictures of loved ones, because of this our waking realization that all has gone haywire, all betrayals have occurred, all fidelities have gone off without a hitch, except that these ones are persecuted for their faith. These ones are holding down the fort with plain answers to our questions: oh yeah, it was necessary for this-and-such activity, to ape or fool a merciless adversary. Oh yeah, offense was taken at a Christian sequence of questioning. Oh yeah, sometimes we find ourselves in strange ways and surrounded by people of alternate stripe and posture. Their internals are different. Yet, just show that lame fascination with wealth or with lust or with ambition, and the Christ-follower shall be known, known to neighbor and to kin. Mistakes are washed over. Revenge is no longer indulged. Peace is writ large.